E312: Why Every Woman in Midlife Should Do Something That Scares Her: Lessons from Our Vancouver Island Retreat

When was the last time you did something that genuinely scared you a little? Not a major life-altering event, but a moment where you paused and wondered, ‘Can I actually do this?’ For many of us in midlife, those moments become rarer as we settle into the routines of career, family, and caregiving. We often feel like we’re juggling so many balls that the idea of stepping away, let alone doing something physically demanding, feels like an impossible indulgence.

However, as discussed in our recent episode on The Art of Living Well podcast®, stepping outside your bubble can be a year-defining opportunity. We recently returned from a rebuild retreat on Vancouver Island, an experience focused on endurance, nature, and community for women in midlife. The journey offered an interesting look at why wellness retreats for midlife women are not just a luxury but a vital tool for physical and mental rejuvenation.

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone: Why Wellness Retreats for Midlife Women Matter

The idea of a retreat often conjures images of quiet spas and gentle yoga. But for us, this particular experience was an endurance retreat, which we jokingly called an oxymoron. It began with a tiny ten-row plane ride to Vancouver Island, a nerve-wracking start that immediately forced us out of our comfort zones.

Escaping the Daily Hustle

Midlife is frequently a season of invisible labor. Whether you are managing a demanding career, supporting growing children, or caring for aging parents, the mental load is heavy. Taking a physical break from your daily environment is essential because it removes the constant pressure of household duties and to-do lists.

By flying to a new location, we were able to leave our roles as mothers, wives, and professionals at the gate. While it’s easy to say, "I don't have time for this," the benefit of leaving your environment is that you are no longer distracted by the day-to-day pressures. This separation allows for true introspection and the chance to learn about yourself, rather than just absorbing facts about nutrition or hormones.

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Embracing New Challenges

Entering an endurance-based environment can be intimidating. Marnie shares that she felt a wave of self-doubt on the first day when she realized she was surrounded by serious athletes who had completed multiple endurance events. She worried about keeping up, especially when the hike began at a pace faster than she had ever moved before.

"There was a little self-doubt coming in... I had to talk to myself and say, it is okay for me to go at my own pace. Do what your body can do and don't worry about what anybody else is doing."

This shift in mindset, from comparison to self-permission, is a hallmark of growth in midlife. Once she silenced the internal critic, her body found a rhythm. By the end of the week, she felt better and stronger, proving that we are often capable of much more than our initial fear suggests.

The Magic of Disconnecting and Immersing in Nature

One of the most transformative elements of the retreat was the deep connection to the natural world. The lush, green landscape of Vancouver Island, described as feeling like Narnia or Avatar because of the vibrant moss and ancient trees, provided a grounding energy that is hard to find in a suburban or urban setting.

Putting Down the Phone and Being Present

In our modern world, we are rarely truly ‘offline.’ We made a conscious effort to stay off our phones, which led to a great shift in how we interacted. Without the distraction of digital notifications, conversations became deeper and more meaningful.

We noted how rare it is to have a conversation where the other person isn't constantly checking their device. By being fully present, we were able to engage in real-time listening, which created a sense of being seen and heard that is often missing in our fast-paced lives.

Trail Running, Hiking, and Finding Your Pace

The retreat encouraged movement as a form of meditation. Whether it was hiking up a mountain or running through the forest, the focus was on the joy of the hard stuff. Marnie describes a euphoric experience of trail running by herself, without music or podcasts, simply listening to the river and looking at the moss.

"I felt euphoric... It just reignited in me a love for running. I really like the trail running as opposed to the pavement running and also just having that space to just be in my own head."

Even for those who didn't consider themselves runners, the collaborative and non-competitive environment encouraged them to try. Stephanie shares how being pushed by a fellow participant helped her realize she could run longer and faster than she would have on her own. This realization, that your physical boundaries are often more flexible than you think, is a powerful takeaway for any woman in midlife.

Building Deep, Meaningful Connections in Midlife

There is a unique magic that happens when a diverse group of women comes together in a safe space. The retreat participants ranged in age from 45 to 69 and came from places as far-flung as South Africa, Brazil, and Canada.

Finding Common Ground Regardless of Age

One of the most inspiring aspects of the trip was the presence of women in their 60s who were still tackling major endurance events. One participant had completed her first ‘Everesting’ challenge at age 60 and had gone on to do three more.

These interactions provided a roadmap for what is possible as we age. The conversations quickly bypassed surface-level chit-chat, which Stephanie admits she is over in her later years, and moved into deep discussions about life transitions, career changes, and personal goals. They found that regardless of whether they had kids or where they lived, they had a seamless connection based on shared values of wellness and adventure.

‘Adult Summer Camp’ Vibes and Nourishing Conversations

The retreat took on the feeling of an adult summer camp, complete with fireside chats, tea, and chocolate after dinner. These evening sessions were a time for both relaxation and education.

Holistic Education: The group even had a class on pelvic floor health, a topic often neglected in standard fitness circles but crucial for women in midlife.

Emotional Safety: The non-judgmental atmosphere allowed women to show up as their authentic selves, without the titles or roles they hold at home.

Nourishment: Unlike some girls' trips that leave you feeling exhausted from drinking or late nights, this experience was about nourishing the mind, body, and soul.

How to Bring the Retreat Experience Home

You don't necessarily need to board a plane to Vancouver Island to experience the benefits of a wellness retreat. The goal is to find ways to incorporate these rebuild moments into your regular life.

Prioritizing Your Own Wellness Journey

Many women feel that taking time for themselves is an indulgence. Marnie pushes back against this idea, stating that these experiences are an essential part of her personal health and wellness. If you are juggling multiple things, you physically and mentally need a break to avoid burnout.

Actionable Steps for Midlife Wellness

Start the Conversation: Talk to your partner or family about wanting to carve out time for a weekend away or a specific race.

Find Your Community: Look for local groups, such as hiking clubs or fitness communities, where you can meet people outside your usual circle.

Unplug Regularly: Even an hour on a local trail without your phone can provide a mini-version of the ‘Narnia’ euphoria.

Challenge Yourself: Do one thing each day that makes you think, ‘I don't know if I can do this,’ and then try it anyway.

Conclusion: You Deserve to Rebuild

The journey we took on Vancouver Island reminds us that midlife is not a time to settle in, but a time to expand. Whether it’s through trail running, learning about your pelvic floor, or connecting with a 69-year-old law student, these experiences remind us that we are still growing.

Investing in wellness retreats for midlife women, or even a local adventure day, is a way to fill your heart and return to your daily life with a renewed sense of capability. As we noted, you might miss a few things at home while you’re gone, but what you gain in perspective and strength will far outweigh what you missed.

Are you ready to step outside your comfort zone? We want to hear from you! What is one scary thing you've always wanted to try? Share your thoughts in the comments, or join our local hiking group to start your own adventure today.